Infield Dirt

Luis Tiant doesn't mind giving campers a ride from the complex to the hotel, as long as the campers don't mind that he smokes a cigar in his rental car the entire drive.

One camper was fined during the morning meeting for "cockblocking" Oil Can Boyd at the bar last night. The OCB was not pleased.

One of our better players struck out swinging in his last at-bat and promptly broke his bat over his knee, the shards of which UL Washington then used as a toothpick.

UL Washington sometimes gets mistaken for the three other black coaches, so when he's approached for an autograph by someone who thinks he's Al Bumbry or Felix Maldonado, he signs their names, but misspells them. He thinks this is hilarious.

Frank Malzone spends all day being driven around in a golf cart to each field, but still feels the need to make his presence known in the shower.

There are a few father-son pairs in camp, but one has a twist. The father and son have been estranged for 5 years and coincidentally both signed up for Red Sox Fantasy Camp. Apparently, the father asked the son if they could talk, but the son refused. Awkward.

Last year, a camper showed up, took his locker-room swag on the first day and promptly left to go to Hawaii with his girlfriend. No word on whether his wife found out.

Spaceman harbors deep resentment toward Arthur Miller for writing "The Crucible." He seems to think this "book" is responsible for stunting his exploitation of the sexual freedom of women everywhere.

I suffered what can only be described as a dislocated testicle while getting off the bench to high-five a teammate. Don't worry, I found it.

I finished the camp season batting .363 with three walks. If you take out my abysmal 1-for-8 start from right side, I batted .500 lefty with two doubles and those three aforementioned walks.